The big question from all people I know is: “How can you change your life?”

Most guys and so called “gurus” will give you “their” answers, on how to change your life. About 5 years ago, I had an car accident that did change my life. I was working as a kindergarten teacher in Houston, and didn´t appreciate all the things that I had back then. I was surrounded by the love of my children and was doing very well economically. I was living independently and had my whole life ahead of me.

However, one day after exiting the gym (which I will make no publicity to…) a car went directly to me and hit me, a tree and a post. The driver was going to park the car and accidentally left his foot on the accelerator. Like a miracle, the post and the tree did help me take less of a hit, but the mark left in my life was overwhelming. I needed that kind of event to change my life and actually realizing the truth: we are lucky to be alive, and each day gives us a new opportunity to change and become better persons.

It may sound corny, but it is actually true. Most people never appreciate what they have, been material things or the love of a partner, friends or family. Another secret does “gurus” don´t want to tell you is this: it is not your fault you can´t change. According to some behavioral studies, it is proved that change faces resistance all the time, and when it is not made fast and the new state is “frozen”, chances are we´ll return to the previous state (which most of the time is unhappiness or dissatisfaction).

Your natural psychological system is made to resist any change! This is what some people refer to “ego“. Your ego is decided to stop you from overcoming depression and break any self help motivation you create, because it is the natural way.

So how do I break this resistance? Let me tell you, I have learned a lot about this topic, from years of experiments and self exercises, which now I teach people. I don´t think it´s possible to teach all of this in a single post. However, here are some tips you can use to break the natural resistance of your ego and change your life:

- Whenever you are trying something new or different, take small steps. It is easier if you achieve one small thing, and feel motivated to try it a little more challenging next time, than keep failing in the single huge task.

- Listen to your intuition, sometimes we overthink a problem and tend to make all this scenarios and possibilities. But you need to realize they are all in your mind, they actually don´t exist! Close your eyes, and let your intuition tell you what to do, almost all the time is right.

- Always take action. It is better to say you try it, than regretting you didn’t even try. Studies have prove this theory. When older people were asked what was the one thing they regret, it was always something they didn’t try.

- Think positive ideas immediately when you get a negative thought. The person who can hurt you the most is yourself. When you are thinking negative about yourself, with ideas like “I’m fat, I hate my body, I can’t do anything, I’m a loser….” you are actually HURTING YOURSELF more than others! Remember, this voice comes from the ego, and you have to stop him at the moment. Say to yourself, “no, that’s not true, I can do anything, I intend to succeed, I achieve my goals”.

- All the time, read or listen to something that motivates you. If you think you can do all this by your own, let me tell you… you can, but it will take a long, long time. Trust me, it took me years to find out. What you want is get a book or an audio about self development, audio self help, or even get the Law of Attraction book or the laws of attraction movie (I know I said all that stuff about gurus, but you need to start with something!) and listen to it everyday. It is so easy to get yourself down again, that will need someone to help you.

- Get your anger out without hurting someone. Sometimes, when we are in a painful situation, we tend to blame it on others, or take a casual event and target it to take out all our anger. Look, you do need to take your anger out, but not with you or someone else. Punch a pillow, scream your lungs out in your room, kick a bottle, but please, when you do it, DON’T TAKE THE ANGER BACK AGAIN! If you release it, it’s over. Calm down and let it be.

I’ll be posting more articles on changeyourlifephenomenon.com If you want to be a part of The Phenomenon, please send us an email, follow us at twitter, suscribe to our feed on the right side, we want you in.

And… Change our Life…

image credit: adjustafresh

About the Author

Anton Cela is a self development author and consultant. Phillip Cela is a recognized university teacher and speaker on motivation, leadership and self help. Find more about their work on “The Change Your Life Phenomenon”, a world-wide-movement to help people change their lifes at Change Your Life Phenomenon.com You can send us an email or follow “The CHYL Phenomenon” on Twitter.