Can you make it on your own? Is self help for depression possible, without asking for help? Read this story to find out…

I found a story about a young boy who committed suicide because all the bulling he was dealing with in his school. His name was Jared Benjamin High, you can read the whole story here. The point is, Jared wasn’t able to find out how to overcome his depression. He didn’t ask for help. Maybe, he just didn’t know he could.

I want you to know this: it is ok to ask for help. You can do it on your own, but you need someone to show you how.  Looking for self help for depression is not a lonely road. Here are some of the lessons I learn by myself, I want to share with you, so you don’t get to become another Jared.

1. Ask for help to people who love you

Very common, we ask for help for depression on the wrong place. For example, asking a “buddy” for advice, when he or she actually doesn’t care. You need to think about the people who really love you, cares for you. There is always someone to count on, but be sure to pick the right person. And when you ask for help, tell the truth. Don’t try to hide the facts or your true feelings, get them out, let the other person know how you feel. Share your feelings, even when they are negative.

I’m not going to preach you anything, but there is wisdom in the Bible. John 8:32 says “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Remember it’s different asking for help to people who love you, and people you love. Not because you love someone, means they will be with you in bad times.

I always can count with my mom. Mothers are the most beautiful persons, they took care of us when we were babies, fed us when we were growing up, gave us a place to sleep. I know a lot of people who fight with their mothers. They surely sometimes are possessive or dominant, but they just want to protect us.

When you talk to the person who loves you and ask for help, like your mother, try to understand her answer. She may scream, cry, or get anger, but that is because she is taking your pain. She feels your pain or depression. Don’t worry, it is normal. That is what we call EMPATHY! When we feel what the others feel, happy when they are happy, sad when they are sad, they are actually CARING about you.

2. If you don’t find anyone you can ask for help, find a mentor or a coach.

When I was living in Houston, working as a teacher, I felt really alone. Even with the kids around me, my family was far away, and I couldn’t take with anybody. Nobody cared. So what did I do? Nothing.

A couple of weeks later something happened. I had a car accident. I don’t want to get out of the topic, this is about you, not me, so you can read the whole story about me here. The point is this: I was in a hospital, and by chance, I got to see a tv program of Wayne Dwyer. When I heard him, I felt I could change. I was going to change my life and start learning how to. You may say, “Ok Anton, how did you came to that so quickly?” Well, it just happen. I believe when you are in your worst moment, something has to happen. When you reach bottom, the only way is up. You just have to know your bottom.

To find out our recommendations for books you can read, go to our Change Your Life Resources, you will find a downloadable book with a book list. Also, you can check out some of the material we have. My brother and I are not gurus. We are studied people who had transforming events in our lives, and had to find the “secret sauce” to life. Yes, we were guided by Wayne Dryer, audio self help, and we even say the laws of attraction movie.  But at the end, YOU HAVE TO DO IT. All this resources are there to guide you, not to do it for you. But don’t worry, we are here for you. Really.

3.  If you believe depression is affecting your body, go to the doctor.

I mean it. Your mind can cause several symptoms you experience in your body that can be alarming. Looking for self help for depression is not about healing instantly heart pain, breathing problems, acne, etc. Although depression is a mental state, and you can cure it, without any medication, you have to be careful with the signs your body gives you. One time I was so stress out because of school, I develop gastritis. If I had calm down, and find ways to relax, everything would have been ok. But I started to worry when I couldn’t eat anything, and I felt a terrible pain in my chest. I knew the cause was the stress, but I had to see the doctor. He gave me medicine to cure the gastritis, and I did my work of relaxing and finding ways to stop gastritis before it showed up again.

Now, I believe if you are suffering depression, and it is affecting your mind, I have to tell you: I had bad experiences with psychologists. When I was a little kid, my mom took me to see a pshychologist (I was very shy at the time). It was the worst experience I ever had with a medic! She started all this questions that hurt me, and she didn’t even listen to what I said. I’ve always kept the records she gave my mother, as a reminder: if you want to change your life, the best person to trust is YOU.

I’ve always wonder: did Buddah or Jesus had psychologists helping them?Were they looking for self help for depression from a “specialist”? When did the study of human behavior became a business? To tell you the truth, I recognize the labor of people like Sigmund Freud or Abraham Maslow, but most of the normal psychologists in the market are there to take your money. If I hurt someone with this statement, I’m sorry but I have found out you can find more about yourself by autodiscovering you, more than someone trying to find out your deepest secrets. Find more natural cures for depression or natural remedies for depression here.

4. Keep a record of how you feel… AKA Personal Diary

I’m a man, and I always thought keeping a diary was for girls… what a fool I was! Having a notebook to record your thoughts, feelings and objectives is the greatest thing you can do. I find out when I was reading the book “Living Intuitively” by Bruce Way. In his book he talks how to develop your intuition. It is not a very practical book, more of a record of all his thoughts and phyllosophy. Anyway, he asked the reader to keep a journal with all the times when he or she felt intuitive about something. I did it, and I was blown away, how useful and relieving is to write your thoughts, and letting them go from your mind.  On “Getting Things Done” by David Allen, he says that when you write your tasks of the day, you actually become free in your mind to have other thoughts.

It applies the same with self help depression. You want to write how you feel in a little book (and keep it to yourself). It will make you feel better, even when you don’t have anybody to talk to.

To get the best of you, (and the problems out of you), whenever you write you have to answer the following:

- When: The date (very important to remember when)

- What: What happened in that day (I had a bad/good day. I did….)

- Why: Why do you feel angry/sad/happy/nervious/etc.

-How: How do you think you can solve it, what did you learned about it.

- At the end, I recommend you write something nice to yourself. I know it sounds silly, but try it. You can write something like “Don’t worry *name*, you will do it” or “Hey, cheer up *name*, it’s not the end of the world!”

We’ll be writing more articles of this subject. Please check out more articles you feel can help you. Print them out (you can do that on the under the title of the article), send it by email (at the end of the post, look for the email sign) or follow us by twitter. Thank you so much for your time, and be sure to join “The Phenomenon” by suscribing to our list to change your life.

image credit: benleto

About the Author

Anton Cela is a self development author and consultant. Phillip Cela is a recognized university teacher and speaker on motivation, leadership and self help. Find more about their work on “The Change Your Life Phenomenon”, a world-wide-movement to help people change their lifes at Change Your Life Phenomenon.com You can send us an email or follow “The CHYL Phenomenon” on Twitter.