
When a previous article on “change your life, find friends“, I developed the idea that you need to emphasize your persuasion skills to interact better with people, and by doing this, you can be more social. Now, in this article, the focus is not so much making friends, but how to become the leader on that team or a group. The ideas I’m going to share, are based on the book “how to Win friends and influence people”, by Dale Carnegie.
Idea 4 to Become Leader: Leadership: Giving Criticism & Driving Improvement
- Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
To become a leader, you need to motivate people. Praising is a way to open the communication channel with others. It is easier to take criticism after some praise. For example, look for things done well before calling attention to failings. A leader is present not only in bad times, but rewards the good job.
- Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
One great way to talk to people, is to give own examples of your experiences, rather than criticize.Telling a story, instead of giving the recipe, is fantastic to let people grow by themselves, for example, you can tell the story of how and event change your life. Also, the burden of criticism is easier to bear when shared. So, share your experience, even bad ones, with people to make a connection.

In his book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, Dale Carnegie explains a study he conducted for many years, and reveal the ways to influence people and find friends. When you try to become more social, the key is developing your persuasion skills. People who are not persuasive, tend to follow the crowd, or become lonely. In this article, I will explain the ideas of Dale Carnegie and how you can use them today.
Idea 1: Building Personal Relationships to Find Friends
- Never criticize, condemn or complain.
Even though many people tend to criticize to have something to talk about, you will find more enemies by doing this. Remember that a person who applies self-criticism is extremely rare. Therefore, your criticism won’t be welcome. Also, criticism makes others defensive and resentful. So you need to change your life, by applying more positive reinforcement when you talk to someone, this means, saying good things about people.
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
Something we don’t want to add me, but it is true, it is that people are most interested in themselves. So a great tip to become interested in others, it is to remember people’s birthdays and other important details.

Do you still talk to your old friends from school? If you do, you’re lucky. However, most of us leave a lot of friends in the past. This is not something to feel bad about, it is natural because you don’t have any more that connection (school) with your friends. Therefore, it is harder to have something to talk about, I’m both start to lose interest.
This can also happen when you are trying to change your life. When I started my self process of changing, I started to realize how rude and negative were all of my friends, I had to find a way to develop my own self help motivation, because I couldn’t count on them. For example, on time we went to a concert, they kept critisizing everyone on the street, on the concert, on the restaurant, etc… I didn’t want to keep going that, because when you criticize somebody else, you are actually showing what you really are. Yes, it is funny sometimes! But you are laughing about the person, not about the situation. Anyway, I started to become more distant from my friends, because at the end, they didn’t help me change.
Receive Automatically To Your Mail Every New Article We Write. Just Type Your Email and Click Enter, or Suscribe Via Feed Under: